With all reverence, there are times when I feel the Lord is silent. I think in my heart he does not hear me.
I wonder if I am worthy to receive a blessing or a positive answer. Do I have his favor? I am so far gone in my life he will not hear me?
Others are receiving, and yet I am not receiving. Has he forgotten me? Maybe I am living a life not pleasing to him? Maybe I haven’t confessed my sins.
Then I remember His word he will never leave or forsake me.
I want things now. I understand that life doesn’t work like that.
I am learning in my life journey not to look at others and what they have. That life they live does not belong to me. It may look greener, but it really isn’t if I look closer.
Waiting is hard to do, but I know my time will come where I, too, will be blessed.
My new way of thinking is to ensure that as I wait, I need to enjoy the pause.
Don’t be impatient. Everything will work out just fine.
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
Really, my age is no one’s business but my own. Would knowing my age make you like me better? If I am older than you and look great, you envy me, which turns to hatred because of all the gossip you spread. If I am younger than you, there is still gossip. There is no comparison between us.
Society is fixated on numbers on how old someone is.
For example: A man is in a car accident, and the news report says a thirty year old man is injured. What is the point? Does the accident get more value as his age goes up or down?
I hate ageism. Everyone must be put in a category and labeled. Once we are labeled, we are given a character we have to live up to or down to. We must gather all those in our same category and be the same. There is no mixing. There is no change. There is nothing unique.
I am not ashamed of my age, I just would like some privacy.
I will not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me.but thou hast saved us from our enemies, and hast put them to shame that hated us. In God, we boast all the day long and praise thy name forever. Selah.
Psalm 44 verses 6 to 8
Elohim Shomri means God is our protector. When we know this, we live in faith and trust that He has us safe and secure. Nothing can harm us.
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
It hurts at the beginning when I fail. I get upset. I get angry with myself and with others connected to the problem. Suspicion runs high. I feel the need to talk it out to maybe even justify my actions.
Then I take a step back and realise this can work for me if I see it in a new light.
It is a setback, but it can in the future be a setup for my good if I learn from it.
It does not define me. I am not a failure, but I am human, and things happen.
I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psalm 43 verse 5
What is on the inside, the essence of the heart, and the thoughts of the mind shows on the outside.
Guide your thoughts. Be of a pure mind. Anger and despair become tangible things when you constantly think about a dark thought and feed on it daily.
That same dark thought becomes reality in which there is no escape, where there is no freedom and where happiness becomes a thing of the past.
Be emerged with His word so that light and hope can grow from within and shine out from your heart. Your face will be radiant with an inner peace and beauty only God can give.
I feel lost without my cell. It is my go-to for quick information. I can use it easily on the go, and I like to stay connected.
My watch is a Fitbit. I keep track of my health as best as I can. My favorite feature is the sleep monitor. It is good but depressing to see how little sleep I get daily. The step counter keeps an eye on my activity level.
My Bible is my connection to my Lord. It is by far the most important thing I like to pack, especially when I travel. But I like my cell because I can download the Bible in my fav version and read it on the go.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
I know it sounds harsh, but for my experience and over time, I come to realise their passing, although sad, helped to bring me into a closer relationship with God.
They lived great lives and died of natural causes. If they died tragically, I don’t think I could write this.
I remember Mom, after a hard day at work, fall on her knees at her bedside, giving the Lord thanks for seeing her through the day. Forever , she was grateful to the Lord.
Dad would be up all night sitting in his rocking chair with his glasses perched on his nose, pouring over the scriptures, learning more about the Lord. Always enjoying the Lord and His word.
I saw this throughout my life and never really paid much attention, but now as I grow older I think back. They were my go-to sources for advice, but now they are gone I rely on the Lord. I am forging a relationship with my Lord like they did.
If they were still here, I would be leaning on them not on the Lord.
I love them and miss them like no one’s business, but I am forever grateful for the lessons they taught me and their fine examples of life.